Front Page Photo by Carl Thompson
- I just ate pumpkin pie. Specifically, a pumpkin pie.
How did we get desert out of something so ugly, slimy, and foul-tasting?
Welcome to the wonderful world of sugar.
I am a sugaholic. It started
in childhood when my mom served donuts for breakfast. It was
her way to skip cooking and be cheered in the process. I always
wondered why people eat donuts for breakfast but not, say, cheesecake
or cotton candy. When my mom did cook, it was Coco Puffs, part
of a nutritious breakfast when served with other, healthy
At school I maintained my buzz
with Fun Dips. Remember those? Packets of colored sugar you eat
with a candy spoon? It was the next best thing to a syringe full
of syrup. I also bought jawbreakers from a third-grader who had
spotted the budding junkie market. He bought 'em by the case
and sold 'em one by one. We called him Mr. Fix.
By my teens, Mom stopped doing
the kitchen altogether. She passed through the kitchen on her
way to more important rooms but never lingered. This allowed
me to eat sweets for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I justified
it all by skipping desert.
And that is how I live, forever
towing a desert tray. I fear that I'll wind up in a diabetic
coma and the doctor, having no choice, will end my life by shouting,
"Hey! Kool-Aid!" - More...
Monday - September 27, 2004