By Will Durst
May 25, 2006
Sensing what could be called a somewhat dissatisfied electorate in the same way a 13-acre glacier might be referred to as an ice cube, he delivered his long-awaited speech on immigration and uncharacteristically revealed an actual plan.
A magnanimous five-part plan but not one that included amnesty. This was an amnesty-free plan. A plan that had something to do with increasing border guards and utilizing the National Guard in an unnamed amorphous manner, and there was a provision about going home. Not President Bush, unfortunately, but there was nothing, I repeat, nothing, in there about amnesty, even the thing he called "earned citizenship." A concept that is totally different than amnesty. Somehow. No matter what those confused Republicans are saying.
By Daryl Cagle, MSNBC.com
Distributed to subscribers for publication by Cagle Cartoons, Inc.
Although doubts remain concerning the plan's workability, most members of Congress are interested in only one very important answer to this internationally vexing question: how does this affect their re-election campaign? The way you can tell Bush's idea is not that bad is both sides of the aisle are pissed off at him, which if you remember, Clinton used to do all the time. Especially both sides of Hillary.
That's what struck me: how grey it was. No good guys. No bad guys. Strange territory for George, whose world is normally cut and dried like a third-grade Sunday School Primer. "With us or against us." "Good versus evil." "Sesame egg twist versus foccacia bread." But as most of us who graduated past third grade figured out, life ain't like that.
Then the President, dressed as Charles Bronson on a dusty trip to the border, called America "a lawful society, and a welcoming society," but alas not an amnesty granting society. In a stroke of existential irony, he listed speaking English as one of the qualifications for "earned citizenship," his un-amnesty-like proposal and pretty much endorsed the moderate bill being debated in the Senate right now as opposed to the extreme House bill which calls for illegals to be ear tagged and used in rodeos as replacements for roping calves. A proposal the President disagrees with mostly because that sort of steady employment could be seen as a form of amnesty. Which he's against.
Writer, comic, actor, radio talk show host, manual transmission driver, Will Durst is very much in favor of amnesty. For pretty much everything.
Email comments to email@example.com mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
Distributed to subscribers by Cagle Cartoons, Inc.