DEAR CRABBY,

Since retiring, I moved back to a larger, more populated State, and bought a comfortable home. I've taken security measures that, until now, made me feel safe. I have an alarm on the doors, windows, and the gate, and live in an electric-fenced in patrolled community. It is well lit and the older folks here (most of us are retired) feel protected. No longer. Something happened that made me almost jump out of my socks a few days ago- when my grown boys came to visit me.

I came out of the bathroom to find my sons standing in my living room. I nearly had a coronary. They had circumvented every security measure in place with little or no effort. They gained easy access to my home by pushing my phone number into the community's exterior security gate, jumped my wall, then used a credit card in my back door's electronic reader! Once inside, they shut off the alarms, got my keys and remote control to open my gate so they could drive through. All in less time than I took to shower. I was shocked.

I can't believe they did this so easily, and want to warn all your readers. What if a serious criminal had been here instead of my sons?

MISSING SMALL TOWN SAFETY

DEAR MS,

Wow. Good story. You are right. If serious criminals had been there, you might not be able to write to me. Good thing your sons are mere amateur criminals. You never said what they wanted. Maybe they were deliberately sneaking up on you to hurry along that inheritance. Did they know a couple of kids by the name Menendez while growing up? Do you think when you return here to visit friends, you could not bring them? Maybe have them house sit when you're gone. Be sure and take inventory before you leave. And look on the bright side. With sons like yours, you can lose all the pesky keys you want!

DEAR CRABBY,

My husband and I are separated after 6 years together, and soon going to court to make it final. It is especially heartbreaking because I know we still love each other deeply. We've postponed having children and made other sacrifices so that we could get well established in our careers and build the home and business we had always dreamed of. We even managed to take the vacation of a lifetime, thinking we'd never have the chance again.

We'd agreed to put equal efforts into the marriage, including the housework, but the minute we got married he stopped. We've fought about this since the first week, and I can't take it anymore. We both eat, but he thinks I should clean up afterwards. We both dirty the laundry, but he thinks I should do all the wash. He thinks household chores are not for men, and has said as much. The struggle stresses him out to the point that he'll eat on the way home to avoid dinner and the conflict that follows when he leaves a mess at the table.

We both have full time jobs, mine being as demanding as his. I went so far as to ask him to be our sole support and I'd stay home and do everything he wanted. I said I'd be the "old fashioned" kind of wife. He informed me that I was "in the year 2003, and women work. Deal with it". Is this how it is now? Could I have been wrong?

SAD IT'S ENDING

DEAR SIE,

Sounds to me like you two need a wife. Are you telling me he doesn't appreciate you for your skills and talent? There are many of us out here, dear, so you just stand your ground. Your lonely, lonely ground. Some day our, I mean your, intelligence and ability will be recognized. Meanwhile, he had decades to learn this. You will need decades to unlearn him. Or his next wife will have the patience to do it for you. It is unnatural for him. Help him. Teach him that he can do it.

So I'm sitting here thinking what else can I tell this woman, having been in the same situation once upon a time....and then imagine my panic when I looked down to see a small piece of smoked salmon inextricably lodged between the S and the D on the keyboard. Some quick thinking on my part and my uncanny skills with a paperclip remedied the situation. Wow. I am truly brilliant. You would think a guy would get off his butt and pick up his own dirty underwear to stay with someone that can get knots out of soggy shoestrings. You would think a man would do his share of the housework to hang on to a gem like me. Hmmph!

crabcakes@sitnews.org

 

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