DEAR CRABBY,

I am 12 years old and in a car pool with some other kids for after school groups and sports stuff. Whenever we get a ride from someone's mom or dad, I say thank you and goodbye to the parents when we get out of the car. My mother taught me to and usually she asks me if I did. Sometimes she drives too.

My friends are calling me 'brown nose', and said that the parents are supposed to give us rides and they don't mind because it's for their kids too. Most of them only say thank you if I said it first and they have to.

I think my friends are being rude, and mom agreed with me. I don't mind saying thank you at all. Mom said to write and see what you say.

POLITE KID

DEAR PK,

Brown is beautiful! Keep it up. Your friends could use your manners. What they don't know is that grown-ups talk about other people's kids-how nice they are, how they dress, how that one kid is always picking his nose, and which one smells funny. We talk about you like you talk about us-not all bad or good, just commenting on what we notice.

You are probably the one the car pool parents are mentioning: "Why can't you be more like PK- he always says Thank You when he gets out of the car. Your other friends treat me like a taxi driver. They don't even talk to me. I don't have to drive, you know. I do have other things to do. I'm doing you boys a favor. And find out if that smelly kid's been wiping boogers on the back of my seat!

DEAR CRABBY,

I married my dream girl nearly a year ago. I'm very happy, and have no desire to stray.

The problem is an ex- girlfriend I went to school with 7 years ago. We are now both married, and even though we live 4 states away from each other, she still maintains regular contact. She doesn't accept that we're no longer in each other's lives. Over the past several years, she's continued to write and call me for everything from offering birthday wishes to asking marital advice. She says these are things friends do.

I have tried to avoid hurting her feelings, but it is obvious she still cares about me. This is inappropriate and causing my wife pain. She addresses letters solely to me, and refers to my marriage as something that got in the way of "our eternal happiness". It's not what I consider to be in the interest of friendship. She even talks about coming to visit.

I did care about her- but that was over long ago. I feel bad about saying this, but I want her to stay where she belongs- 4 states away and in my past. I have never been rude or unkind to her, but I know I haven't encouraged her behavior or affections either.

Can you advise me on how to get rid of her? My wife has tried. She tells me when I've received a call, and I won't call back. She has told the ex that she opens my mail for me. My wife is losing her sense of humor, and I don't want to lose my wife.

WANTS HER IN MY PAST

DEAR WHIMP,

YES! You caught me! I DID change your signature! Fortunately for me, you are too chicken to do anything about it; yet, I am shaking in my boots, because you might sic your wife on me! Hahahahahahahaha!

I had a boyfriend like you years ago. This girl (who are we kidding? She was a ho.) was following us all over town. That was in the days of wild loggers and fishermen and summer nights when everyone walked around and loud music poured out of the bars into the street every time someone fell out a swinging saloon door... Back in the days when half the town was up and out dancing all night because nothing closed down until 5 am, and if you could go to the diner to eat and hang in long enough, it'd start back up at 8 am. You didn't want to go home or sleep, because you might miss something. What? Who knows? Who cares? But you might. Probably why so many of us are against dope smoking drunks now... ~Oh well. So this bimbo used to follow us around, waiting for me to go to the bathroom or something so she could move in on my man. Once, though, I noticed she was following us from across the street, which I found strange. I got the feeling she was sort of holding back, a little scared perhaps. So I said to my hunky fisherman, "What's the matter with Ol' Tammy Faye over there? She looks scared". And he said, "Oh. I told her she'd better leave me alone or you'll kick her ..." Me: "WHAT?!?"

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?? Not that YOU "don't want to talk to her again and hope she has a nice life but get away from me you psycho nutcase before I take out a restraining order". Nnnnnoooooooooo, you have your wife answer the phone! You pull some guts out of your back pocket, and tell Ms Fatal Attraction that you were mistaken in trying to spare her feelings, that you didn't misplace her number, you burned it!

crabcakes@sitnews.org

 

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