DEAR CRABBY,

Something happened recently that I'd like to mention.

I stopped by to see someone I haven't seen in quite a while (years). We had a nice long visit and got all caught up. As I was leaving, she off- handedly asked if I wanted to stay and have dinner with her. I wasn't sure how to answer, not knowing what she was serving. I didn't want to appear impolite, so I didn't ask. I didn't stay either.

If my friend had better manners, I think she would have (and should have) mentioned what was on the menu, giving me the option to make an informed decision. I then could have stayed and eaten, or courteously re-scheduled. This avoids embarrassment for both parties if the food isn't something the guest likes. Then I'd make a diplomatic excuse and leave. Don't you agree?

THOUGHTFUL GUEST

DEAR THOUGHTFUL,

Who are you being thoughtful of- yourself? Unless your 'old friend' is opening a restaurant in her house, you are being an inconsiderate, self- absorbed Dufus. (Note the capitol D) What happened? No opportunity to rifle through her 'fridge before deciding whether or not to grace her even longer with your presence? Was she out of booze? Were you bored? Sounds like you had invited yourself over, stayed until your friend became faint with hunger, then turned up your nose at whatever you assumed she was planning to serve for dinner (lucky for her, lest her gourmet cooking skills not be up to snuff) that wasn't good enough for you to eat.

If you can understand anything I just said, then remember this: The next time you're over there, order me a Coke and a cheeseburger- to go.

DEAR CRABBY,

I have a bone to pick with the many people that save seats for others at movies and various public events. They save them for their friends and latecomers, or those not concerned enough to get their own seats, by using coats, books, bags, umbrellas, and sometimes even children.

I think it is not fair for someone to arrive early, take a few prime seats, and leave to walk around and visit, or go to the concession stand while the rest of us have to wander around the area looking for somewhere to sit. It is terrible manners, and it shouldn't be allowed. No one has the right to 'reserve' seats in an open seating event. This practice pushes the boundaries of polite society, and I am writing to you so you can tell your readers to stop it. Thank you for your help in educating the audiences.

WANTS A GOOD SEAT

DEAR WAGS,

So! You have seen us; me, my children, friends and neighbors! Well, let me apologize for the inconvenience. The next time we are sailing unabashedly by the outskirts of polite society, I'll remind everyone that you wrote to me, and directed me to stop the anarchy!

Depending on who you are, we might/will gather up the entire group (of 8 or 12 or 20, as the case may be), and all go to the restroom together before the movie starts. Never mind the dirty looks and congestion at the snack counter, as we all give our orders at once. And think of the grand adventure of trying to get seats together when our arms are full of popcorn, pop, purses, coats and small kids' hands. I love taking off my coat while juggling sticky drinks. I'm sure I can make everyone in a row move so we can all sit with the people we came with. Saving seats a few minutes ahead was so inconsiderate; what was I thinking?! We'll even stay with our driver as we circle the block in the rain for half an hour to find parking, because we don't want to offend you by going in first and saving his seat. We will re-plan where two people save the seats for 12 at an event, while two more go find the rest of the party to tell them where we're all located, and four more get in line at the concession stand with all our orders, two more hit the bathroom and the last two are late. We will stop arriving early and if our two late friends have the nerve to ask us to save them seats, we'll just slap them and tell them "No!" Even if it will be a loud disruption to watch them attempt to find seats in the dark, it will also be funny to watch them trip and fall down! So they are on their own!

CONFIDENTIAL TO WARD COVE WILLIE,

I've read there are only three types of personalities; The ones that arrive to say, "I'm here!", the ones that show up to say, "You're here!" , and then there're the ones that appear on the scene and yell, "HEY, YOU!" in such a way that makes everyone stare. Kinda makes you feel special, don't it?

crabcakes@sitnews.org

 

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