DEAR CRABBY,

Hello. I have a friend who knows an executive who gets drunk in an establishment, and goes on and on about what a wonderful exec they are; how they are so smart and everyone else wouldn't know what they would do with out them. My friend would like to pull this person aside and tell them how they are making them look like an idiot, how it demeans the company they work for, and for them to knock it off.

But the exec wouldn't be an exec if they weren't above my friend. So, do you have any suggestions in knocking this person off their high horse and letting them know they don't walk on water?

I told my friend, "That if the guy was really your "friend", he would understand what you are saying, and knock it off, without risking any repercussions for your career." Social Climbers suck

ANNOYED BY ARROGANCE

DEAR ABA,

I take it you're not from Ketchikan. We handle these things in a simple, yet effective way here. You allow the 'Exec.' to continue drinking, even buy him one if you want to. When he passes out, and people like him eventually do, you get out the women's cosmetics and do a job on him that would make a Cher impersonator jealous. Put a "kick me, I need it" sign on his back too if you want. Maybe a third eyeball.

Then, you take a few pictures. Digital cameras work best, as many of them have a night mode and you can take a few shots discreetly. You can also use a video camera. After this it's up to you. Best to have a quiet talk with the guy, but if he still won't behave, you can post the pictures in the backroom at work, show his bosses, or show your friends.

Frankly, I think your friend should go home and leave the exec. alone. The exec. sounds suited to run for Governor of California.

DEAR CRABBY,

We have been married 47 years. I met my husband "Mervin" in high school and he is the only sexual partner I've ever had. Today, a brown envelope came in the mail that he said he wanted to share with me. It was full of literature about wife-swappers! There is a group that meets at our end of town, and he wants us to join them!

I am in shock! To think that we never had sex more than 5 times a month in all the years I've known him, and now he wants to share me and pass me around to strangers?? I've looked into his computer, and it seems he's been checking into this subject for awhile now.

Last week, I was thrilled to death when Mervin became amorous and wanted sex four days running. Now that I know what was going on in his head, it disgusts me.

Please tell me what to do. I don't know what has gotten into him. My instincts tell me to pack and go. From me,

NOT THAT KIND OF OLD LADY

DEAR NOT THAT KIND,

Sounds to me like 'Merv' the Perv got his hands on some little blue pills. Call his doctor and ask questions about Mervin's prescription. Tell him you are wondering about the side effects of Viagra, and if he doesn't know what you are talking about, tell him Mervin has some. Tell him you are wondering about the risks, and want to know if Mervin has any heart ailments you should be aware of, as he is driving himself pretty hard lately. Then call your life insurance agent, and increase Mervin's coverage, in case you cannot talk sense into him. You keep a stiff upper lip in the event Mervin doesn't soften his 'perspective'.

crabcakes@sitnews.org

 

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