DEAR CRABBY,

I am 27 and single. I have a cat, 3 big dogs, a parrot and a nice little house. I am very happy as I am, and date often enough. The problem is all my friends and family that keep insisting I will never be happy or fulfilled unless I marry and have children. I do not have the desire for children, nor the wish (or unselfishness) to share anything of mine (including decisions) with a husband. These well-wishers constantly tell me I'll regret my choice and by then it will be too late.

Crabby, I am very self-aware and know I haven't got the patience it would take to sustain a family. I can't make anyone respect my feelings and wishes on this issue. I am not attracted to women either, just happy with the situation as is. Am I being realistic?

HAPPY WITH MY ANIMALS

DEAR HAPPY,

Yes. You just need a cat. I have several. I'll send one right over.

DEAR CRABBY,

I head to work 20 minutes before my workday begins; I have two children to drop off at the babysitter's. This hasn't been a problem until recently. I have worked at the same location for a while now and have a set schedule. Just a week ago there was a new secretary hired and she uses the same babysitter as I. Now she thinks that she can get a ride with me to work everyday. Mind you it did not bother me when she actually asked and said thank you. Everyone knows how much rain we get around here. So I gave her a ride. Now she wants me to wait for her while she drops off her child and gets her situated. She does not say thank you or even asks for a ride anymore she just pushes her way into the car. By this time I am coming in the door at work right at 8am if not later. I feel like I was volunteered for this then pushed into the obligation. I do not know her. I do not want to know her, yet she is making me late for work and she does not pay for gas. How can I lose this person and still drop off my children at the babysitter?

JUST LOOKING FOR A LITTLE GRATITUDE -- AND MAYBE A WAY OUT

DEAR JUST LOOKING,

This is a tough situation. For you, not for me. As usual, there are many ways to go here. Until you learn how much brown-nosing to the boss your co-worker's done, you'll want to play it safe, and not offend her.

You may want to load up the car with boxes and tell her there is no room for her as you are helping a friend move all this week. You could spend the extra time and money to go a half hour early for a few days, then tell her you had no idea you were her only ride, as you had never even discussed ride-sharing on a regular basis, and she never offered you any gas money. Since she oversteps boundaries by not even asking you before "pushing" her way into your car, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you overstep boundaries by giving her number to a few people you have called, with the request they tell her all about the car they are selling. The least you should do is bring in a copy of the paper with all the "autos for sale" ads circled.

As a last resort, you cold tell her this is a GREAT idea, and you are saving to buy a van. You are going start a BIG carpool, and you figure if 6 people put in 10 dollars a week, you will have your new van paid for!! Thank her for the idea, and remind her for this to work, she'll need to be 20 minutes early from now on, and pay in advance. Present her with a legal-looking contract to sign. Do it with a big smile on your face.

P.S. How attached are you to your babysitter?

crabcakes@sitnews.org

 

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