DEAR CRABBY,

When they were growing up, my husband and I rarely said "No" whenever our kids asked us for money. My husband died 3 years ago and the failing stock market took most of what was left to carry me through my golden years. I am barely making ends meet.

My children are both close to 50 years old, and still expect me to lend a hand every time they need financial help. To stop giving them money is the only way I'll be able to survive, but I haven't come up with the right words to say. Any suggestions?

POOR (AND NOBODY KNOWS IT BUT ME)

DEAR POOR,

I'll give you some words: "Get off my back you money grubbing, blood sucking leaches! I'm old, and medication is expensive! What do you want the money for anyway, CRACK? Unless you've been stashing every dime I've given you all these years to buy me that condo in Palm Springs I've been dreaming about, get lost!"

Ok, a little harsh. Actually, if you say no to them (at their age) for the first time, your life may be in danger. I'd advise quietly moving away, and explain it all in a nice, inexpensive Hallmark card.

DEAR CRABBY:

I am seeing a therapist. I've had panic attacks and have been terribly depressed this past couple of years. I can't figure out whether or not she is really helping me, or just making money off of me. She rarely speaks, and never advises me in any way. How do I know if I'm getting better? I don't know how to tell if this is supposed to take awhile, or if my doctor is even doing her job. She doesn't seem to be doing anything.

STILL STRESSED

DEAR STILL STRESSED,

And how does that make you feel?

In some states, all you need is a business license to hang out a shingle and start collecting your car payments from unsuspecting nutcases, I mean clients. (A real shrink requires years of college and more than the ability to withstand 'venting'.) Take a look to see if she's napping, and check her for earplugs. After that, if you're still too chicken to ask exactly what she is doing for you (or to you), then quit and go elsewhere. You are supposed to feel comfortable telling your innermost secrets to this total stranger.

crabcakes@sitnews.org

 

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