DEAR CRABBY,

My boyfriend, 'Steve' and I have been living together over 4 years. I don't think we could be more in love. I have proposed to him repeatedly, but so far he's managed to avoid answering me. I know Steve loves me by the way he treats me. He has never been away from me long enough to have an affair, and spends all his free time doing things with me or for me. He is everything I want in a husband, and he says he's happy with me too.

I have asked his friends about his aversion to marriage, and all I get is, "He's never wanted to get married.", "He doesn't believe in marriage." And, "Why don't you just be happy the way things are?" One of them let it slip that Steve's old girlfriend had left him when he told her where he stands on the issue, and that may be why he refuses to discuss it.

What else can I do? We're both in our late 20's, and I want kids someday.

NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER

Dear Not Getting Any,

This is going to be a long one. Let me get a drink first.              OK, I'm back..

Same old, same old... Why would he want to change anything? He has his cake and is eating it in front of you. You are a wife and Steve never even had to bother with the inconvenience of buying a ring. Not to mention the formality of declaring to God and the world that he loves you enough to make sure you are granted the legal benefits of that piece of paper.

[TELL THE CONTESTANT WHAT SHE'S WON, GENE!]

If Steve gets killed, you get to look forward to fighting his family for half of your own possessions! (Even if he has a will, you can bet they'll contest it, after all, you're not his wife. Legally, you're nothing to them ­or him)

You're also entitled to years of no Social Security Benefits to replace all the income you lost when you lost Steve! Let's hope he dies while you're still young and attractive enough to snag another man...

Sell the house, dear, you can't afford to pay for it alone!

You have the privilege of continuing to pay higher insurance premiums!

And forget being on his health insurance!

You have the right to pay higher APR's (annual percent rates) on credit cards and future loans, as unmarried = unstable -- to the financial industry!

What's wrong here could be cured with a little slap upside the head. Unfortunately, I'm here, you're there. And I already have a headache.

DEAR CRABBY,

A strange thing has happened twice in the last few months, so I wrote to ask you about it. I was invited to bridal showers but not to the weddings for these same brides. I found it hard to believe that both invitations could have gotten lost in the mail, so I asked around; I wasn't the only one snubbed. What do you make of this? Is this a proper, acceptable wedding practice?

FURIOUS

DEAR FURIOUS,

Absolutely not! There are only three reasons I can think of for someone to do this:

[1] Not enough money to host a large wedding reception
[2] The brides are greedy
[3] They don't like you and are greedy.

crabcakes@sitnews.org

 

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