Dear Crabby,

I have an older sister with 3 small children, ages 2,3, and 5. My problem is that when we go anywhere together, she puts them on those 'child leashes'. I find this very embarrassing, especially at the mall, where we are stared at. There have been times we have overheard comments such as, "Just like a little pack of dogs". One woman actually walked up to us and made a rude remark to my sister's face. Her husband doesn't seem to care, and she says she's right, and I'm wrong on the issue. What do you think?

LITTLE SISTER IN SAXMAN

Dear Little,

Tell me dear, did you ride the short bus to school when you were small? Your sister made a wise choice. What would you have her do?
Scream at her kids from across the mall to "Get back here!"
Put them all on her back like a pack mule?
Lock them in the car and get arrested?
Perhaps she could leave them home alone so as not to slow you down while you shop.
You need to realize she is keeping them safe from child abductors and getting fingers shredded in escalators. She also avoids the inconvenience of wasting hours looking for them, having to deal with accidental shoplifting charges, and fights with people that hate ankle biting nose miners such as your nieces and nephews. Cut her some slack and hold the leash once in awhile. P.S. Write back in ten years when you have three little ones.

Dear Crabby,

My boyfriend and I recently got engaged. I love him with all my heart and would never want to hurt him. The problem is the ring. It's not what I expected, and to be honest, I don't want to wear it. I cringe every time we are together and he has someone look at it. It is not cheap (size wouldn't matter anyway). I haven't the heart to tell him how I feel, but can't see wearing it for the rest of my life, either. What do I do?

NO NAME PLEASE

Dear No Name, (and who could blame you?)

I believe in being totally up front and honest in situations like this. After all, you will be the one to be humiliated on a daily basis while wearing this hideous thing. First, you carefully draft a letter to him; I'd suggest something like the following: "Dear________, I saw your fiance's ring the other day. It is without a doubt, the ugliest thing I have ever laid eyes on. Are you getting back at her for something, or are you just blind?"... You get the idea. Sign someone else's name, and mail it to him. If he has any sense, he'll ask you if you really like it. Go from there. Personally, I have only known one straight man with decent taste in jewelry, and one other with good taste in women's perfume. It is my staunch belief that it be mandatory for a gay man or female relative to accompany any man while buying gifts for women.

crabcakes@sitnews.org

Post a Comment         View Comments
Submit an Opinion - Letter