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Dear Crabby
by Mrs. Crabcakes - Ketchikan, Alaska
Monday - May 17, 2004

This column is strictly for entertainment purposes only and
is not intended to be taken to heart as serious advice.



graphicReaders: Please forgive the following. It is not remotely funny. After this, I promise to get back to a little humor.


Wow, I can see why you have that name! I think your answer to the concerned citizen regarding the contaminated rubber gloves left at an accident scene stinks. Yours is exactly the kind of attitude one finds in this town regarding litter. It's just not a big deal, apparently even when it is something contaminated that could indeed be picked up by a child wandering by. Even though the accident was tragic, the responders should have collected the refuse.




I'll do you the favor of not printing your name. I have lived here for well over a quarter of a century, and because of that, I can totally stand by my answer. You want to get upset about something? How about how long it takes some of our citizens to pull over when emergency vehicles are approaching with lights flashing and sirens blaring? OK, ok, another time...
When someone responds to an accident scene like the one you speak of, of course they should pick up the gloves they used. No one ever said otherwise. But as you know, they had more to think about, and inadvertently left them out there. Are you so ignorant as to suggest they did it offhandedly?

As for my answer and the attitude of people in this town about litter, look at your own attitude. Why would someone write to me about a biohazard an ENTIRE WEEK after seeing it? In effect, the original writer (for argument's sake, let's say you) left them out there-you knew, drove by, continually watched, and did nothing? Why not call the emergency folks to let them know? Why not go pick them up? Why write to me and complain? Do you think griping about that mistake will help? YOU, and the person that originally wrote, have the 'trashy' attitudes about our locals and litter. Read the signs the next time you are out. It's a $1,000 fine for littering around here. So TELL on the litterbugs you see. Don't complain about attitudes of locals when the answer to the problem was so simple. It was NOT to publicly slam our volunteers (Who, btw, DO NOT get paid to drop everything in their lives to get trained/ come out and rescue us). The solution was a simple phone call, or to just pick them up. Shall we continue to beat this dead horse? Because this is beginning to bore me... I need to get back to advising parents on how to treat their unwed promiscuous litterbug teens.

P.S. When was the last time someone you know allowed their children to wander around the highway at Mud Bight? Anyone?



My sister and I have a small disagreement we are hoping you can help us with. There is $5 riding on your answer.

Recently, I received an invitation to a child's birthday party that included the clothing size and toy preferences of the birthday boy. This information implies that they take it for granted we'll bring a present for him, which my sister says is tacky. I say it's realistic and practical.

I thought maybe I could use similar wording in my son's invitations. He'll be having a birthday party in a month or so. What are your thoughts on the idea? Proper or tacky? We leave it up to you.




First question that comes to mind is: Why are you getting invitations to little boys' parties? Ok, assuming it's for your son and was only addressed to you, I would consider whether or not you know the mother and like the child. If you are close, and not concerned with proper manners, then yes, it is practical. They are hoping to avoid recieving cheap imitations of the kids favorites, like last year, when he got a G.I. Jerome, or the year before, when he got a sweatshirt from Old Army.

Should you do it too? Sure, if you want to read about your bad manners and breech of etiquette in this column.


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