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Dear Crabby
by Mrs. Crabcakes - Ketchikan, Alaska
Thursday - May 06, 2004

This column is strictly for entertainment purposes only and
is not intended to be taken to heart as serious advice.

 

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DEAR CRABBY,

If one receives chocolates or a bottle of wine as a hostess gift, it seems compulsory to open and share the entire thing with everyone present. With enough guests, the hostess (or host) may not even get to enjoy any at all.

It's my opinion that whomever is on the receiving end of such a gift should get to keep it- and enjoy it whenever they feel like it. If they choose not to share, no one should be offended. After all, it was supposedly given as a gift to the host /hostess, not necessarily a contribution to the dinner, or as a group treat. What are your thoughts about it, Crabby?

CHOCOLATE AND WINE LOVER

 

DEAR CAWL,

Bet you're a load of fun at parties.

I assume you are the one that didn't get to enjoy any of "your" gift. Next time, take it and say, "Thank you". Go into the kitchen immediately and drink half the bottle of wine. Pour half the candy into a zip lock bag and hide it. Then go back out to your guests and offer them the rest of the wine or candy. They'll think you're strange, or perhaps an alcoholic, but hopefully good manners will prevent them from saying anything to your face.

 

 

DEAR CRABBY,

Recently a tragic motorcycle accident occurred on the Mud Bight corner. The secondary much more minor yet very disturbing tragedy is the litter or blue rubber (Latex) gloves left on the side of the road near the site of the accident by the responding emergency crew. These gloves are used as protection for the wearer from BIOHAZARDS such as blood borne pathogens and various other contaminated bodily fluids. As of last night (Sunday evening) the gloves were still there. The disregard for public safety and professional hygiene is appalling. What gives Crabby? Are just the borough citizens held accountable and fined for violating the littering laws? Are city and borough workers simply excused?

My most sincere Condolences to the families involved with the accident.

SIGNED ANONYMOUS (PLEASE)

 

DEAR SA(P),

Wow. You were right about one thing. The accident was a tragedy. But the gloves? There isn't a walk-a-thon of curious three-year-olds going by there in the next few days, is there? Are we in danger of the gloves becoming animated and chasing people? Did the rain spread contaminants all over the Mud Bight area? Someone I know was in the E.R. at the time, and said the chief of the North Tongass Volunteer Fire Dept. went home in hospital scrubs. Sounds like they were busy.

When someone in a town this size dies, we all feel it-pain, hurt, sorrow, shock. This is a member of our community losing their life, many of us losing a dear friend and beloved relative. This is the tragedy. Leaving the gloves out there was just a mistake. Most of those responding were not paid employees of the Bourough- they were volunteer EMT's and Firefighters with Emergency First Aid Training. Maybe you could join them next time, and be the designated 'Accident Scene Janitor'. Meanwhile, put some plastic bags on your hands, hold your breath, and go pick up the gloves. It won't kill you.

 

 

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