Opinion/Comment For Publication On Viewpoints:
DEAR CRABBY,

As a PFC in this V-Day skirmish, I find myself slightly insulted by the last minute "explanation" (read "quick excuse")for what the V in V-Day stands for. One of the Viewpoints' letters states that the V-Day observance in Ketchikan is really a Valentines Day event... as in V for St. Valentine. Oh come now, isn't that just a little inaccurate? I mean, a valentine is a heart, right? And if I remember my Kayhi biology lessons correctly, there's some little distance between the heart and the V-Day location! One of these things is not like the other, as we sang on Sesame Street. And it leads me to wonder, nervously, if one of these days our jealous brethren are going to sponsor a P-Day. What possibilities I see there!

Seriously, this whole V-Day thing sounds a little too political to me. Domestic violence and family tragedy is far too serious a subject to be lumped in with militant feminist causes that sort of more or less faded away about 20 years ago. There are too many women and children - people who have no connection with crusades - who need help and services, and I wish the fund raisers a great deal of success. WISH and Connections, for example, have provided wonderful services for the community over the past years. Let this fund-raiser be for them, not for feminism. And call it something else next year, puhlease.

VERY INSULTED PERSON

DEAR VIP,

Once again, you all are writing to me about things for which I have little concern, and once again, no one asks me anything. I must say, by looking at the line above Dear Crabby, I'm guessing you want this sent to me, but it's about something in "Viewpoints". Well, I went over there, and let me tell you something. My mascara has melted a bit into my eyes and they are burning. So, I am not about to read seven letters to see what the heck you are talking about. I did read 1 and 1/2. BORING. V this, P that, and I C U 2. And how about taking 773H and reading it upside down and backwards?? Clever as the V thing? NOT.

I try to stop, but you keep pulling me back in...

I do think WISH and Community Connections are among the best of the worthy causes. I mean, if you are going to spend your money on others, seems to me that the victims probably need food, shelter, counseling, and clothing more than state prisoners need HBO, a decent law library, free workout equipment or meat for dinner every night.

As for V's and P's, are we talking about sex again? I thought we'd ALL had enough of boobs and Britney and Madonna and bare butts in your face for awhile. You all get your mind out of the gutter, and go do something productive! NO! Not THAT kind of productive! SHEEEZZ.

DEAR CRABBY,

After a year of illness, my husband died last spring. These past months, I've learned how to handle my finances, and am planning for old age. It's taken much adjusting, but it looks like I'll be all right.

My problem is my daughter. She's failed at 2 marriages, is in her late thirties, and now expects me to give her money to pay on a home. She's always been bad when it comes to spending and responsibility. She's now given me the choice of paying 1/3 of the price of the house she wants, or never to see her or the grandchildren again. There are two, both of which I love and help provide for. Even though I offered her a loan of $15,000, she stands her ground and insists I 'gift' the amount she wants to her.

I'm too old for this kind of pressure, and don't want to lose so much of my nest egg. I have to take care of my own future, and am not sure how to handle this situation. It's so much money; what do I do?

STRESSED OUT OUT NORTH

DEAR SOON,

Boy, this is tired. Person finally gets old enough to rest, financially able to relax, and some greedy telemarketer, gypsy swindler, or adult child swoops in to suck the life out of your pocketbook.

Since your daughter doesn't care about your feelings, or even your welfare, you should at least get to have a little fun with hers. Face it; you hold the purse strings, indeed, all the strings. She should have to earn her money. Let's see how we can entertain ourselves....

Make her go shopping with you. Tell her to behave as if you don't know each other. When you give her the signal, she has to bark like a dog for 2 minutes. You sneak out to the car, and drive home. For this she gets $100.

I have some things I do to my children for my own amusement (well- payback for listening to their bickering, painful child-births, etc.) It has nothing to do with money, and I think they think I'm absent minded or just stupid. For instance, every time we drive over the Creek Street Bridge, I say, "Whoa, low tide"... or, "wow, high tide"... It has nothing to do with anything, but it makes them look. I chuckle inside... Sometimes when we're in the store and they're bothering me, I tell them to get something and deliberately send them a few aisles away from where it is to get more enjoyment from my alone time. Once again, they think I'm goofy...and I chuckle inside. Contributes to their thinking that they know more than I do-you know, all that self- esteem building stuff we're supposed to do. Just when they start to think of me as intellectually inferior, I make them watch Jepardy and by the end of the show, they're really confused. OK, on a good day. Sometimes it's so hard, I change the channel and go cook. ~Sigh~ I think you get the idea. Entertaining yourself is the main thing. Not being blackmailed is also primary.

If this isn't agreeable with her, say you'll miss her, and send the kids gifts or money as you wish. She has more to lose than you do. Be sure to change your will, so she knows you are worth more to her now. Leave it to her kids on their 25th birthdays (they should learn to work and be out of her grip by then). If she's smart, she'll start kissing up immediately, to insure she not lose you and whatever help you already give her. But you never said she was smart...

crabcakes@sitnews.org

 

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