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Fish Or Cut Bait

Support Wildlife: Use Metal Barbeque Spits
by Bob Ciminel

November 05, 2005

With the huge number of cars and trucks traveling metro Atlanta roads these days, one is exposed to a lot of specialized license plates, not to mention bumper stickers that run the gamut of everything currently going on in our society. Add to that the stick-on Support Our Troops ribbons and a lot of cars are moving advertisements that can tell you more than you probably want to know about the driver in front of you.

One sign that really tickles me is "Caution: Show Dogs On Board." I'm not sure what that means. Does it mean I'm supposed to roll down my window and ask for an autograph or what brand of dog food they use? It's just one of life's mysteries I'll probably never find the answer to. I wonder why I've never seen a sign saying "Caution: Show Cats On Board?"

jpg support wildlife

But getting back to the specialized license plates, we have several here in Georgia that I see quite often. There is "Support Wildlife" and "Wildflowers in My Heart." One that may upset some people is the "Sons of Confederate Veterans" tag. Now that one is puzzling. The Civil War ended in April 1865, over 140 years ago. Maybe it's time to change it to "Great-Great Grandsons of Confederate Veterans."

However, the license plate that really amuses me is "Animal Friend." The proceeds from that plate support dog and cat sterilization. Personally, given the number of illegitimate children born into poverty in Atlanta each year, I can think of another license plate whose proceeds could be put to good use.

Now don't jump to the wrong conclusion; I'm not in favor of sterilization. Women have the God-given right to bear children, and the court-given right to terminate pregnancy. So why not a plate whose proceeds go toward educating women on how to avoid pregnancy, or better yet, provide the funds to help them prosecute the absentee fathers for child support? I would call the plate "Children in my Heart."

There is one group of Georgia specialized plates that make me proud of my home state. Those are the military plates. We have 37 of them, ranging from World War II to Desert Storm. There aren't any plates for Afghanistan or Iraq. I guess that makes sense; we're still fighting those wars. We don't have any for the "war" I fought in either, the Cold War. It's hard to earn Purple Hearts, Bronze Stars, and Navy Crosses when all you did was cruise around under the Mediterranean Sea for a couple of years. Anyway, I'd feel funny carrying that around on the back of my car when so many others gave their lives and continue giving their lives to defend our freedoms.

Some of our specialized plates had me doing a double take. Like the one that says "Disable Person Motorcycle." We've even got a special plate for our elderly citizens. It says "Low Speed Vehicle."

Oh and there is one other plate for our state's animal supporters; it's the University of Georgia plate. It has a picture of "Uga," the football team's bulldog mascot on it. Now there is a show dog if there ever was one, and I would stop for his autograph.


Bob Ciminel's articles may include satire and parody, and mix fact with fiction.
He assumes informed readers will be able to tell the difference.

Bob Ciminel lives in Roswell, Georgia, and works for the Institute of Nuclear Power Operations.  Bob is also a conductor on the Blue Ridge Scenic Railway.


Bob Ciminel ©2001 - 2005
All Rights Reserved

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