Sitnews - Stories In The News - Ketchikan, Alaska - News, Features, Opinions...


Fish Or Cut Bait

My Left-handed Friend
by Bob Ciminel


October 21, 2004

Ketchikan, Alaska - My very good friend, Maralyn Lois Polak, writes a weekly column for the Commentary section of the World Net Daily online newspaper. Maralyn recently polled her friends on why we should not vote for George W. Bush. Okay, that's cool. It's a free country. The Constitution and Bill of Rights protect pollsters too.
gif Fish

Maralyn and I have been friends and pen pals since 1997. She encouraged me to start my column in, and has always supported my attempts at journalism. However, Maralyn and I reside at opposite ends of the political spectrum. I think we both agreed that Bill Clinton was about the sleaziest President who ever held the office. Other than that we are like oil and water.

I respect Maralyn's opinions. She is a very talented writer, and has a keen eye for finding stories in places where most of us would never look. I admire her very much. However, politically, I feel the same way about Maralyn that I do about Dave Matthews, Jackson Brown, James Taylor, and Bonnie Raitt - love their music; hate their politics.

I have never corresponded with any of the aforementioned luminaries, but Maralyn and I used to exchange emails messages at a furious rate in years gone by. It was her fault. I write emails to many of the authors whose work I read online, but Maralyn is the only one who ever replied and actually answered my message. Hell, I have close family members who won't even do that!

Our relationship cooled off after George Bush "stole" the 2000 election and Maralyn began writing about G.W. & Company the way I used to write about the Clintons. I stopped reading her weekly articles, although I have remained on her mailing list and occasionally peek at her latest diatribe against Bush, Republicans, and conservatives.

After reading Wednesday's "Left Handed" column, I made a list of the people Maralyn interviewed for the article. Assuming she didn't make these people up, here's a list of her respondents: an accountant, a medical editor, an "activist/healer," a legal aide, another "activist," a screenwriter, an author-actress, an entrepreneur, a retired insurance worker, and a "teacher/community organizer/writer." You will notice that I put several of those in scare quotes because I'm not sure what an activist/healer does, and, having a wife who taught school for 25 years, I find it hard to believe that anyone can be a teacher, community organizer, and writer all at the same time. Somebody is getting shortchanged somewhere.

Wow! What a collection of folks with a decidedly liberal bent. I know Maralyn has friends who are truck drivers, plumbers, police officers, ex-military, and at least one nuclear professional, who might have a different perspective on old George W. I've read her stories about those people over the years. Therefore, I think her poll was definitely biased; probably as inaccurate as Kerry's campaign speeches; and about as scientific as the infamous "Jumping Frog Experiment," which goes something like this:

A scientist places a frog at the end of a yard stick. He claps his hands; the frog jumps three feet; and the scientist writes in his notebook, "Frog with two legs jumps three feet." The scientist then cuts off one of the frog's legs; claps his hands; and the frog jumps only two feet. He writes in his notebook, "Frog with one leg jumps two feet." Then, he cuts off the frog's remaining leg and claps his hands. The frog doesn't move. He claps his hands again, but the frog remains motionless. The scientist neatly writes in his notebook, "Frog with no legs can't hear!"

Maralyn, if you read this, I still love you; no bullfight! Can we still be friends after Kerry loses? Your pal, Bob.


Bob Ciminel ©2004
All Rights Reserved

Post a Comment
        View Comments
Submit an Opinion - Letter

Stories In The News
Ketchikan, Alaska