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Fish Or Cut Bait

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses
by Bob Ciminel

May 10, 2005

I must apologize to all of my loyal readers out there in cyberspace - at last count, that would be two, June Allen and Gigi Pilcher - for my few and far between articles. The week after we returned from Germany, I was off to Council Bluffs, Iowa for my grandson's third birthday. I spent a week out there with the Children of the Corn. In the process, I managed to acquire a virus that affected only my left eye and did not manifest itself until the day I left, and specifically as my plane climbed to cruising altitude on the flight back to Atlanta.

Do you know what happens if there is a small pocket of fluid in your eye as the plane's cabin pressure drops from sea level (or whatever elevation Kansas City International Airport is) to 8,000 feet? It swells. By the time we landed in Atlanta, I thought my left eyeball was going to burst out of its socket. It didn't, but the aftereffects sure made for an interesting drive home that night. Anyway, I am able to see out of both eyes again.

While recovering from my eye problem, we had to go over to Athens, Georgia where my niece was graduating from the University of Georgia's School of Veterinary Medicine. Yep, we finally have a doctor in the family. As I write, Doctor Melissa is moving to Hollywood, Florida where she will begin her internship at a veterinary teaching hospital. Melissa eventually wants to go into surgery because, as with humans, the patients never complain during the procedures, and they don't bite or scratch you.

Yesterday's news about the murders of two young girls in Zion, Illinois was a real shocker. I spent some time in Zion, Illinois in 1974 - you can read about my experiences in a previous article titled "Who's That Lady?" - It is not the kind of place where 8-year-old girls are routinely stabbed to death. With a population of around 23,000, the last murders in Zion occurred in 2002 - there were none in 2003. Either the girls were in the wrong place at the wrong time or an acquaintance killed them. The perpetrator deserves the death penalty because he or she is beyond rehabilitation.

On the brighter side, it was good to see President Bush visiting Georgia. I am confused though. Usually when he visits, it creates quite a traffic jam on I-75, but Nada, no traffic problems. Oh, he's that other Georgia. No wonder WSB didn't carry the story 24/7. I thought it was strange that the President's visit would be preempted by the ongoing Runaway Bride story. We're so tired of hearing about her that we are calling it the Runaway Nut story. At last count, she has checked herself into a mental clinic. At least that is what her church is saying. This girl has only spoken to the media through a church spokesperson. That ought to tell you something about why this story is so weird, and so uninteresting.

Well, th-th-th-that's all, Folks. I have to get back to earning my daily bread so that I can give over half of the loaf to the IRS, Social Security, and the State of Georgia.


Bob Ciminel's articles may include satire and parody, and mix fact with fiction.
He assumes informed readers will be able to tell the difference.

Bob Ciminel lives in Roswell, Georgia, and works for the Institute of Nuclear Power Operations.  Bob is also a conductor on the Blue Ridge Scenic Railway.


Bob Ciminel ©2001 - 2005
All Rights Reserved

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