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Fish or Cut Bait

Things I Don't Care About
By Bob Ciminel


April 11, 2007

I don't care how Anna Nicole Smith died or who fathered her daughter. I don't care what Sean Penn thinks about George Bush. I don't care that the Justice Department fired eight Federal prosecutors, just like I didn't care that Bill Clinton fired 92 of them. Heaven knows we can always find more lawyers!

I don't care what Al Gore thinks about global warming. In fact, I don't care about global warming. If we stopped global warming today, tomorrow the liberals would begin complaining about global cooling! Besides, if you listen to the enviro-wackos, all we have to do is elect a Democrat in 2008 and the globe will stop warming.

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"Things I Do Care About"
Photograph by Bob Ciminel

I don't care if Hillary Clinton wins the 2008 presidential election or that the Democrats control Congress. In the four years they have to totally screw up our government, judicial system, tax code, and war against terror, they will guarantee a Republican president and Congress for the rest of my lifetime. I will go into retirement comfortable in the knowledge that my grandchildren may have the opportunity to live in a world at peace, but if they don't, at least they will live in a country that can still kick butt in any part of the world that does not want world peace. Are you listening, Iran?

I don't care about the rising cost of gasoline. I've lived through both the 1974 and 1979 gasoline shortages. People would rather have gas at high prices than low prices and no gasoline. Besides, the people who drive cars and SUVs that consume a lot of gasoline don't care how much they pay for fuel; they'll buy a hybrid to commute and a Hummer to impress.

I don't care about the quality of our public education system. Simply watch television and you will note how programming has easily adapted to the decline in education. Read the newspapers. Watch the commercials. Listen to your politicians. Everything is responding to the changes in education. As for intelligence, which, despite what John Kerry says, is not a function of education, I suggest you go to the movies or watch daytime talk shows like "The View" and formulate your own opinion.

I don't care if Iran develops nuclear weapons. After looking at the videos Iran is releasing and noting that none of their "nuclear workers" wear radiation dosimetry, they are either not in actual nuclear facilities or, if they are, they will all be dead in a few years from radiation exposure. And the so called "nuclear facilities" are so decrepit that the Iranian housekeeping is so bad that they can never maintain the cleanliness required in a processing facility to enrich weapons-grade material.

Lastly, I don't care if you disagree with this article. It is your inalienable right to disagree with me. Besides, if everyone agreed with me, we'd be in a sorry state of affairs - almost as bad as the one we'll be in if Hillary wins the Presidency.

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Fish or Cut Bait by Bob Ciminel

Bob Ciminel's articles may include satire and parody, and mix fact with fiction.
He assumes informed readers will be able to tell the difference. Bob lives in Roswell, Georgia, and works for the Institute of Nuclear Power Operations.  He is also a conductor on the Blue Ridge Scenic Railway.
Contact Bob at

Bob Ciminel ©2001 - 2007
All Rights Reserved

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Ketchikan, Alaska