SitNews - Stories in the News - Ketchikan, Alaska


"TAR BABY" Revisited with a nod to Uncle Remus
By Roland J. Stanton


October 24, 2007
Wednesday PM

Brother Fox went walking early one morning, down a Texas road. As he walked along he saw his old tar baby in the ditch. It was all covered with dirt and leaves. He looked at it, thought a bit, and took off for his garage. When he got back he had a bucket of tar and a stick. He set his fine old tar baby in the road and covered it all over with a new coat.

Looking at his handy work, he noticed the label on the bucket, Noah's Pitch. So, after a little more thinking he redid the tar baby's face with a new look, like Saddam, who now lives where the flood was; and for good measure he made a Bin Laden doll and placed in the baby's belt. Then Brother Fox went and hid in the bushes.

Soon, George came running down the road. He stopped. He looked at the tar Saddam. He smelled the tar. As Dick, Condi, and Don caught up to him, he said, "This guy smells like Iraqi oil." George then yelled at the tar Saddam and said, "Why don't you produce more oil and lower the price?" He got no answer. "If you don't tell me, I'll hit you" said George. Again he got no answer. So, George hit him and his hand stuck. "I hear you have weapons of mass destruction. Where do you hide them?" No answer from the tar baby.
Then, Condi yelled "Hit him, George." So, George gave him a left and his other hand stuck. Now he was really, really, mad. George said in a very loud voice, "I hear you kill your own people" and Dick said "kick him, George" and that's what he did. Now his foot was stuck, too.

George then said "I'll bring in my power and squash you flat" through his clenched teeth. But he got no answer. And Don yelled "I'll help you, George!" And, Don got behind him and pushed, so that George rolled right over the tar Saddam and squashed him flat. Now his pants, his shirt, and his chin were stuck. So, George said, "I can still kick you. I see you also harbor terrorists." But the tar baby didn't answer, so George kicked him.

Now George was really stuck. Panting a bit, he said nothing for a while. Then he said to his friends, Don, Condi, and Dick; "Get me out of this." And they said "Oh, not us, he still won't tell us where the weapons of mass destruction are. He still kills his own people, and he still harbors terrorists. And, he is now producing even less oil."

Just then, Colin came strolling up the road. You see they had all run away from Colin, calling him a sissy. George said "Get me out of this, Colin." Then Colin surveyed the scene and said "I'll have to go to the United Nations, and I'll have to talk to "Old Europe. There's no one else." After a long pause and a survey of his predicament, George said, "O.K. Colin, do it!"

Colin strolled off down the road. Brother Fox decided to run away, saying "These people are downright scary."

George lay on the road, pulling and tugging, yanking off skin and bleeding here and there.

I don't know what happens next.

Stay tuned! George is still stuck!

Roland J. Stanton
Ketchikan, AK

About: "Roland Stanton is a thoughtful person who has lived more than 75 years and seen more than one person stuck to a Tar Baby in his time."

Received October 22, 2007 - Published October 24, 2007


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