By Willem N. Kooman
September 05, 2005
For evolution to be a viable theory, some-one has to start with the fact that for something to become something, you have to start with something that was nothing. And if you cannot explain where something that was nothing becomes something, then you should take your impossible theory and "stuff it."
Please spare young minds the indignity of requiring a secular trained teacher to explain, "Intelligent design." Just stick with the absurd theory of evolution! Except each time a science teacher feels the call to explain evolution to his or her students, the following procedure and script has to be followed:
"As a trained teacher in scientific fact and logic I am now going to explain the scientific theory of evolution. You see in the beginning there was 'POOP'. POOP is the scientific abreviation for Primeordial Soup. Now we don't know where POOP came from, except to give you the undeniable scientific fact that, "In the beginning there was POOP" (If that creates a slight dilemna for the logical mind, I ask you to not question the fact; simply place your scientific head in the same place mine is.)
Now you must understand that this POOP was rich in proteins and nutrients. Again I cannot explain from where and how this rich POOP came to be, but do not little things like that confuse the important conclusions we are about to make.
Now we also have to realize that the atmosphere was alive with energy expressed in lightning strikes. This rich POOP was constantly being hit with these unexplained bolts of energy. Finally after perhaps millions of years the POOP was struck by a special bolt of lightning and suddenly there it was; LIFE! It was a miracle! I mean it was evolution!"
And so it came to be that the
belief in the undeniable fact of evolution developed into a new
religious field of learning now commonly known as POOPOLOGY!
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