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by Ken Lewis


September 15, 2004

I believe I have cracked the case of the Mystery Halibut Missing? Oh sure they can spin it all they want. This is a clear case of profiling. My client Mr. Halibut was traveling with his ichthyic companion's post 911, Mr. Salmon, Mr. Crab and Mr. Shrimp were allowed boarding based on the simple fact they do not have Brown skin on top and White skin on the belly. This injustice dawned on me watching my 4 year old daughter getting her my little pony shoes searched. And I can understand pastel colored pony shoes as being the problem as well as most of her Pre-School posse.

I am hoping that the ACLU will focus on protecting the rights of slimy bottom dwellers after they complete its mission of removing God from the pledge of allegiance, ridding the cross on the California flag and hey, while I am thinking about it, go after those little leaguers who say (In God I trust and I love my country) in the LL pledge.

Fish have feelings too. I have been such a fool most of my life thinking the term God was a way to remind me the planet does not revolve around my skinny butt. The ACLU has taught me to greet strange Pit Bulls by letting them lick my face. It takes a truly higher authority of BMW owners to teach me, profiling is not a natural instinct for my survival.

Mystery Solved.

Ken Lewis
Ketchikan, AK - USA


Related news story:

Halibut mysteriously disappears ...
Ketchikan Daily News



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