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Sorry to the Pollster
by Ken Lewis


August 31, 2004

After getting up at 3:00 AM yesterday I tried to catch an hour of sleep in the afternoon. I get a pollster call, asking me who I will vote for and how I feel about the marijuana measure on the next ballot. Because I was awakened by this call, I told the pothead to get a real job and to not call back. I feel kind of bad about my response and would like to take this moment to be more sensitive. I've changed.

I will not vote for 2 guys giving each other shoulder massages like they are at a Greek bath house. And I think all motor vehicle operators should be random drug tested if we are to win a war on drugs. Driving is a privilege, and Rodney King was a poster boy for driving on PCP, even if we viewed that scene as something else.

There is your answer, you may not be a pothead but that does not mean I feel you or Rodney should drive through a school zone untested. Now fit me into some kind of demographic. I considered a fabricated first response to you the pollster of... I am naked and the court order will not let me leave the house. I was afraid the pollster would not hang right up. Would that response be wrong? Or is that one of my Rights?

I am as big on Rights as Viagra users testing athletes for performance enhancers are! Thanks for the call. But don't call me back until America wants to win a war on drugs. Right now America puts standards of accountability on people who throw, kick, hit and haul things. America pretends Jocks and Garbage Men can set the example, while Snoop Dog and Eminem (M&M) spend most the day permeating the grey matter of youth. Wars are not won this way. And some performing artists have taken freedom to a level of a free pass with no accountability. Pete Rose is bad because baseball has accountability standards; Barry Bonds is not trusted because of his forearm size. Michael Jackson owns a day care.

With as much tenderness, understanding and 50 mils of innocence I can randomly muster,

Ken Lewis
Ketchikan, AK - USA





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