SitNews - Stories in the News - Ketchikan, Alaska


The Ten Top Reasons to Put the Library in the Rock Pit at Copper Ridge
By Patrick Jirschele


July 06, 2010
Tuesday PM

Number Ten
The librarians won't have to waste time waking up the bums because the drilling and blasting will make it impossible to sleep. That's right, it is an active rock pit! Look out for flying rocks.

Number Nine
The taxpayers are flush, they can afford the most expensive site possible. If City owned property was used (like the existing library building and property) the market value (millions of dollars) could be used to match the grant. But, why do that when you can pick the pockets of the taxpayers?

Number Eight
Apparently local government can only build on property owned by Chuck, George, or J.R..

Number Seven
The library we have is a masterpiece of a building located in a wonder of a location. It is the envy of all that visit. Apparently most of the people of Ketchikan don't appreciate what we have. So, as punishment we get a twelve million dollar plywood box in a rock pit. Take a good look at what we have now so you can remember it when the shine wears off of what we get.

Number Six
The elderly and infirm that can walk to the library now won't be able to when it is located on that hill. That will teach them not to stay fit. The downtown workers that use the library during breaks won't be able to make it either.

Number Five
It would be right across the street from the State Prison. They can chain up the prisoners and walk them over to pick out books. If they are good, they can stay for Story Time.

Number Four
If we keep the library where it is and move the museum to the soon to be vacant fire hall, it will only be 913 square feet short of what the experts say we need. Let's see, 12 million divided by 913 is only $13,143.48 a square foot! What a deal for the taxpayer.

Number Three
It is FREE money! Well, not exactly free. It is a matching grant. That means we have to come up with half the money. Oh ya, we also have to pay any cost overruns. But, that never happens here. Well, the nine million dollar Schoenbar remodel did cost over thirty million. And the high school went over a bit to the tune of twenty or thirty million. What's the difference, the tax payers here are used to just digging deeper into their pockets to make up for government screw-ups.

Number Two
Those folks who own those giant four-wheel-drive SUV's will actually have a reason to own one. It will be the only way to get up that hill in the winter. If they can find a parking spot. You see, there are only twenty two parking spots in the new library plan. Let's see, there are about six employees and there will have to be at least two handicap spaces, that leaves about fourteen spots. That sure is a far cry from the couple hundred within a few blocks of our existing library.

And The Number One Reason to build the Library in a Rock Pit
"The Brass Plaque Syndrome". You can't get your name engraved on a brass plaque on a public building for building an addition or maintaining have to build a new one. Big egos need their names in raised letters. Just think of the money we would save if we put the names of janitors and maintenance folks on entranceway plaques instead of elected officials who do nothing but spend other people's money.

My apologies to David Letterman.
Patrick Jirschele
Ketchikan, AK

P.S. Number Eleven

Surprise! There's more. Surprises are good right? Well, except when you're surprised at what parcel of property you are buying. Yep, it is kind of hard to keep track of what is going on from one day to the next. First it was lots 5 and 6 and $10,000 to hold the Copper Ridge property. Then it was $50,000. Now, surprise, it is lots 6 and a much smaller 5a and $50,000 of your money to hold it. The City Council can't figure exactly what they are buying. With the upcoming vote on where to put the library, you would think they would be a little less caviler with public dollars. Is it big enough or not? Under which shell is the pea?

About: "I have lived here and watched government for thirty years. I'm convinced that somewhere there is a book of suckers and Ketchikan Alaska is on the top of the first page."

Received June 30, 2010 - Published July 06, 2010



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