SitNews - Stories in the News - Ketchikan, Alaska


Hello Guacamole, Bye Bye Global Warming
By Mark Neckameyer


July 14, 2007

This is not a joke! Scientists tell us that just one mature avocado tree annually produces the amount of oxygen needed by ten humans. Avocado trees doing their photosynthesis thing consume carbon dioxide, the bad global warming gas at predigious rates... Remember what they taught us in High School biology ... 6H2O + 6CO2 ----------> C6H12O6+ 6O2.. Each and every grown-up Avocado tree removes 35,000 pounds of CO2 per year from the atmosphere. As an added benefit avocado trees through their leaves trap dust and smog. They filter and clean the air. Shade from groves of broadleaf avocado trees would also reduce harmful ultra-violet solar radiation and lessen the risk of contracting skin cancer.

We eat lots of avocados at my house, sliced into salads and especially as Guacamole dip. Doing a little Internet research I find that on Superbowl Sunday alone more than 160 Million avocados are creamed and eaten in the US. Another 300 Million 'cados are consumed the rest of the year It is incredibly easy to grow avocado seeds into beautiful, plush trees. I have asked my wife to save all of our avocado pits. We use toothpicks to suspend them from a glass of water then plant them in the ground when they have sprouted roots. I started doing this about two years ago and I already have a veritable grove of gorgeous young avocado trees growing in what used to be part of my backyard lawn. Avocado trees are gorgeous, looking a little like magnolia trees but with the added benefit that they will eventually provide tasty salads and most importantly, Guacamole. One year's worth of US eaten avocados will develop into 450,000,000 trees and will provide all the oxygen needed by entire the Earth's human population.

Avocados grow easily without needing much water or extra fertilization in fully half the US including the entire Sun Belt and most of the Deep South and Southern Plains. They harbor almost no insect pests, require virtually no care and as I wrote earlier, they are beautiful trees. We can plant them for free everywhere ... on golf courses, traffic mediums, behind homes ... everywhere! OK so they won't grow in places like Alaska, Oregon and Washington State but maybe Alaska trades Avocado seeds with say Arizona in return for plantable live Christmas trees that will produce similar environmental benefits and then Minnesota trades with Florida, Illinois with Texas, etc. In a few years we have billions of trees and start converting surplus fruit into ethanol to end dependance on foreign oil. Mentioning oil, avocado oils do wonders for ageing female complexions and we will be able to keep our Baby Boomer women looking young and vibrant forever using almost free avoocado oil.

Do you agree that this idea saves the world from global warming destruction? Anybody know Madonna so we can have a concert to kick it off? Al Gore looks like he eats lots of Guacamole so do you think he will pitch in? We could use a volunteer who has a private jet at his disposal! Just think what we can accomplish if we can get Mexico to participate!

Mark Neckameyer
Irvine, CA

Received July 14, 2007 - Published July 14, 2007


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Ketchikan, Alaska