SitNews - Stories in the News - Ketchikan, Alaska


Jewelry Ring Conspiracy
By Ken Lewis


May 28, 2007
Monday PM

There is a lesson to be learned here about Jewelry Store demand. I call it the vast Panic Ring Conspiracy.

Of the millions of traveling tourist, in most cases the wife picked the time/date and cruise to coincide with either her birthday or wedding anniversary. The poor memory-challenged male she married is not aware of the monumental date until they get to the bottom of the gangway in a small port in Alaska. An overwhelming panicky man must find a way to offset, not being ahead of this important date. Bada-Bing-Bling-Bling Baby.

Jewelry store growth is based exclusively upon demand; demand in this case is due to man's inability to mathematically calculate dates that to him, fly out of no-where. Just like dogs cannot help rolling in stinky stuff, men cannot control this instinctual flaw in their make up. Martha Stewart doesn't get it.

If there were no jewelry stores, many men would hold their head in shame through most of the inside passage. An alternative to a petition might be legislation that gave a husband a two week waiver when important dates fell during travel trips. Call your Senator.

Ken Lewis
Ketchikan, AK

Received May 27, 2007 - Published May 28, 2007




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Ketchikan, Alaska