April 12, 2006
Wednesday PM

The Hawaii Legislature is considering bill HB 1242 that would have a "wonderful" impact on tourism. Now pregnant people could come from anywhere in the United States and get an abortion quickly and quietly, perhaps cutting the way for a new sort of "Abortion Tourism."  Every truly intelligent person should support this legislation which might even raise taxable revenue for the government.
 
If passed the new law would allow abortions with no residency requirements as well as abortions in semi-regulated private clinics. Think about the business opportunities for abortion doctors. They could set up shops at the fanciest hotels. Tourists could catch a quick abortion between shopping at Ala Moana and sunning at Waikiki. Anyone here on business could maybe even work the cost in as a tax deduction. No one would have anything to lose-hotels, retail stores, restaurants and abortion doctors would be raking in the bucks.
 
Attorneys could get into the cash flow as well. Tourist from all over could bring their underage girlfriends and under the guise of "privacy rights" could get rid of the unborn human being who is the evidence of statutory rape. Attorneys could earn the big bucks by arguing conflict of laws issues to help our tourists avoid criminal action elsewhere. Maybe this would pave the way of returning to the 14 year old age of consent law of a few years back. Think about how again having the youngest age of consent might open up further unique competitive advantages on sex tourism.
 
Perhaps this is only the beginning of legislation to keep quality tourists flowing into Paradise. Add in passing the recently proposed "physician assisted suicide" bill and we could have advertising campaigns like, "Surf, sun, get an abortion then die-Hawaii, fun for life!"
 
Of course there are always those evil conservatives who object to the "progress" spearheaded by such legislation. They might think such policies are repugnantly a violation of aloha. In light of the City and County of Honolulu recently dumping 48 million gallons of raw sewage into the Ala Wai Canal, however, maybe such policies do stink.

Mark Beatty
Kaneohe, Hawaii
 

About: Mark Beatty practices law in Kaneohe, Hawaii (www.tbadk.com).

 

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