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MIDDLE CLASS BAILOUT
APPLICATION FORM

By David G. Hanger

 

February 03, 2009
Tuesday PM


Realizing as they should have that the Congress of the United States forfeits both its moral authority and its actual authority to govern by representing only the one percent of this country that has managed to steal so much from everyone else, and in recognition of the precedent established that when the fox steals all the hen-house chickens, the U.S. Government gives the fox another hen-house full of chickens, we the vast physical majority of the U.S. citizenry do hereby apply for relief from impoverishment and from the need to support all these rich bastards who have lied, cheated, and stolen all of us into this abhorrent mess. Since the U.S. Congress has seen fit to finance the whims of the criminal elements of our society, indeed has seen fit to limit communication essentially to only the minions of that criminal element (lobbyists), and has seen fit to cater to their needs and not to the needs of the vast majority of the honest, hard-working citizens of this country, it is only appropriate that the precedents established to support this criminal element also be used to support the honest, ordinary citizens of this country.

We, the ordinary citizens of these United States, are not a bunch of greedy, avaricious whores with fat egos and flabby souls. We do not require funding to support our Lear jets or yachts, our mansions or multiple homes, or our obsessions with being superior to everyone else. We have none of these things, and we have no need of these things. We do not seek to impose upon our neighbors, or those we think inferior to us, financial burdens that we ourselves incurred and for which we are obligated. We do none of these things because we are not whores. We will educate our children, fill the aisles with groceries and other goods, and we will keep the power running. We will not permit you to bail out a bunch of rich bastards with our money until you bail us out first. That price tag is substantial, but a quarter million for each head of household and another quarter million for the spouse, a hundred grand for each dependent, and a hundred grand for each student qualifying for college or technical school is peanuts compared to what you are willing to give Hank Paulsen, John Thain and their gang of cruds. Most assuredly, much more bang for the buck.

 

Name (If Married, List Both): ______________________________________________

Address: ______________________________________________

              ______________________________________________

1) Individual or Head of Household Bailout Allocation $ 250,000

2) Spousal Allocation (one spouse only, please) _______

3) Dependents Allocation ($100,000 x # of dependents) _______

4) College or Technical School Allocation
($100,000 x # of dependents qualifying for school
in the next five years) ________

5) Paying Off the Rich Bastards Bad News Rebate
(Multiply annual tax liability x 5 yrs x 50%) ________

6) Total Qualified Middle Class Bailout Rebate
(Add lines 1 through 5) $ ________

For those in Congress whose response to this is, "You've got to be kidding," we simply note when by fiat you demand we refinance liars and thieves, "You have got to be kidding." So, no, this is not exactly a joke.

FILL OUT AND MAIL OR EMAIL TO YOUR CONGRESSPERSON OR U.S. SENATORS

COPY TO YOUR FRIENDS, BLOGS, ETC.

David G. Hanger
Ketchikan, AK

Copyright January 31, 2009. David G. Hanger. All rights reserved.

Received February 03, 2009 - Published February 03, 2009

 

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