SitNews - Stories in the News - Ketchikan, Alaska



Dangerfield Earned Respect
By Al Johnson


January 02, 2006

"No Respect"... Rodney Dangerfield:

1. I was so poor growing up....if I wasn't a boy.... I'd have had nothing to play with.

2. A girl phone me the other day and said "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.

3.One day I came home early from work...I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said " Because you came home early."

4. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning...put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

5. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

6. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.

7. I'm so ugly...My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

8. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through.

9. I'm so ugly... My mother had morning sickness... AFTER I was born.

10. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

11. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."

12. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have few drinks and get some rest.

13. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.

In the field of comedy, Rodney Dangerfield earned "Respect". Happy New Year.

Al Johnson
Ketchikan, AK - USA


About: Longtime Ketchikan resident.


Note: Comments published on Viewpoints are the opinions of the writer
and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Sitnews.


Write a Letter -------Read Letters

E-mail the Editor

Stories In The News
Ketchikan, Alaska