By Will Durst
July 27, 2006
Bush then proceeded to mumble some spurious advice to Tony Blair with a mouth full of partially masticated roll, answering once and for all why his staff goes to such lengths to keep him corralled like a roping calf in Crawford, Texas, where chewing with your mouth open is considered an art form as well as a compliment to the chef. We've got some spoiled fruit running the country and he's loose and playing frat boy diplomat with the big kids and everything is going horribly awry, people!
Artist John Darkow, Columbia Daily Tribune, Missouri
Distributed to subscribers for publication by Cagle Cartoons, Inc.
What did he expect? For her to turn around and whisper seductively, "I'll give you a week to cut that out"? She's German, for crum's sake. East German. Everyone knows the East Germans are as cuddly as a stainless steel teddy bear. I imagine we should consider ourselves lucky he didn't grab her butt and make "honk-honk" noises. Or pulled a "gotcha" where he pokes her in the chest and then tweaks her nose after she looks down. And you know the cupped hand under the armpit thing is definitely in his arsenal.
We haven't even talked about the word that rhymes with spit and would cost me $325,000 if I accidentally blurted it out during my day job on the radio. The hypocrisy of him signing that sanctimonious bill is so thick you can scrape the excess mendacity off the top like froth off a cappuccino. THEN, without missing a beat, he asks President Hu of China, "How long does it take you to get home? Eight hours? Wow. Russia's a big country. So is China, isn't it?" Yes, George, China is a big country. Got a lot of people in it too. And Mexico. Great Mexican food. And full of Mexicans. But you already know that, because you speak Mexican, don't you?
Can you imagine Roosevelt giving the Reichsfuhrer a back rub? Well, actually, I guess Neville Chamberlain kind of did, but that's not the point. Instead of grandstanding for its election year base, it is incumbent upon Congress to save our nation further embarrassment by passing a law immediately prohibiting all of the members of the Bush family from any televised meeting with a foreign leader where food is being served. And mittens. They should be required to wear mittens.
Or listen long distance at quakeradio.com.
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Distributed to subscribers by Cagle Cartoons, Inc. - ©2006 Will Durst.